The things people are too polite to ask

You will fill out a health history form before we start. I will also ask you a few questions in person — which areas you want worked on, anything that is currently bothering you, and whether there is any condition that means massage needs to be adapted or avoided altogether.

Please list every health concern and medication. That is not paperwork for its own sake: it is how I shape the session so it helps you rather than harms you. List your allergies too, so I can choose the right oil or cream.

Every massage takes place in the treatment room in Grove City, by appointment only — one table, one person, and a door that stays shut. I don’t do house calls. Group and private classes are the exception; those I travel for, on request.

Most sessions run 60 or 90 minutes; lymphatic drainage runs 75 to 90, and energy healing 45 to 60. A half hour only allows for a partial session — neck and shoulders, or back, or legs and feet. Most people find 60 to 90 minutes is where the real change happens. Allow yourself a little time either side of the appointment; arriving at a run undoes some of what you came for.

Undress to your level of comfort. Roughly half of clients keep their underwear on and half don’t, and it genuinely makes no difference to me. I leave the room while you undress and get onto the table under the top sheet.

If you would rather stay dressed, form‑fitting clothes in light, breathable fabric work best — though it does limit the work, because I won’t have direct contact with skin and muscle. Whatever you choose, you stay properly covered the entire time. Only the area being worked on is uncovered.

Make yourself comfortable. If I need you to move, I will either move you or ask. Otherwise, shift position whenever you like. Some people close their eyes and disappear for an hour; others want to talk the whole way through. Both are fine. It is your massage — whatever feels natural is the right way to do it. Ask questions whenever you want.

That depends on the technique. A lot of my work starts from Swedish massage: broad, flowing strokes that calm the nervous system and let the outer layer of muscle let go. As your body settles, pressure builds gradually into the specific places holding tension. A light oil or lotion keeps the work from dragging on your skin.

“No pain, no gain” does not apply here. There is no rule — and no research — saying a massage has to hurt to do you good. If it hurts, your muscles tend to guard against it, which works directly against what we are trying to do.

There are times deep tissue is the right tool, and times your body will respond far better to moderate or even gentle pressure. Deeper is not automatically better. If the pressure is too much, say so immediately and I will adjust. Some techniques can leave you sore for a day or two afterwards, much like a hard workout, but you should not be in pain during or after.

Speak up. This is your session and the hour belongs to you. I am intuitive, but I am not a mind reader.

Tell me if you want more or less pressure, if you are too hot or too cold, if you want a different area worked, if the music is wrong, if you need to change position, or if you need the restroom. You will not hurt my feelings by asking for something that makes you more comfortable. That is the entire point.

If you want to. Some people enjoy the conversation. Just remember the session is about you putting tension down, so there is no obligation to keep me entertained. Quiet is completely welcome. Either way, do speak up if you want something adjusted.

I use hypoallergenic oils and lotions. If you are sensitive to particular oils or ingredients, tell me beforehand — I keep an assortment on hand and can work around it.

It happens, constantly, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. Falling asleep, snoring, drooling and passing wind are all signs your body has dropped into the relaxation response — which is exactly what we came here for. I have certainly seen it before and I am not judging. I like seeing you that relaxed.

Massage therapists have seen and felt all of it. Please don’t feel awkward — you cannot relax while you are anxious about how your body looks, and relaxing is the work. If anything, I may be able to suggest a product or a change of technique that helps with whatever is bothering you.

Many men avoid massage entirely over this, or cannot relax in the room because of it. There is no reason to be embarrassed. Touch applied anywhere on the body can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and a partial or complete erection is one ordinary physiological result of that. Any educated, professional therapist understands this and it is not an issue. If you are still concerned, fitted underwear gives more support and coverage than loose boxers.

If a session turns sexual, I may stop to clarify your intent, and I may end the session immediately. Sexual advances are not tolerated in the treatment room under any circumstances.

Not knots, despite what everyone calls them. Those crunchy spots around your shoulder blades are hypersensitive nodules that keep the muscle contracting even when you aren’t using it.

And no, I can’t make them magically disappear — certainly not in one or two sessions. Regular massage combined with movement, stretching and some honest attention to your posture is what actually shifts them.

Most people feel deeply relaxed. Some get relief from aches they have carried for years, built up from tension or repetitive work. After an initial slowed‑down stretch, people often report more energy, sharper awareness and better concentration — and that can last for days.

Drink plenty of water afterwards. A hot Epsom salt bath is a good way to let the muscles finish letting go.

It depends on your physical condition, what is going on emotionally, and realistically your schedule and your budget. Weekly is ideal, and weekly is not possible for most people. Even once a month, consistently, and you will notice the difference in how your body feels and how you handle stress. Regularity matters more than intensity.

Don’t come in if you feel unwell, or have a fever, a cold, or a contagious skin condition. The first trimester of pregnancy is generally considered off‑limits, as is active chemotherapy or other intensive medical treatment.

Several medical conditions make massage inappropriate, which is why it matters that you tell me about health problems and medications. If you are under a doctor’s care, get their written recommendation before booking — for some conditions I will ask for it. If you have a serious medical condition and aren’t sure whether massage is safe for you, speak to your primary care provider first and get their approval.

Massage is generally considered safe in the second and third trimesters. Tell me you are pregnant — especially before you are showing — so I can adapt the techniques, the areas worked and how you are positioned on the table. Prenatal work can reduce swelling, ease aching muscles and soothe joint pain.

Sometimes, yes. Giving a massage is hard physical work — an hour of it burns roughly what a brisk walk does. Like anyone doing physical work, my hands, forearms, shoulders and back can feel it after a long day. Which is why I keep my own care routine honest: it is what prevents injury and lets every client get all of me rather than whatever is left.

Becoming a massage therapist in the United States means completing a required minimum number of education hours, which varies by state, and passing a nationally recognised exam covering anatomy, physiology, pathology, business law and ethics before you can be licensed to practise. Most states also require continuing education every one to two years to keep that licence active.

I hold Florida massage therapist licence MM92539 and establishment licence MA30004.

Occasionally. The overwhelming majority of people are courteous enough to shower and arrive fresh. And honestly, it is far less of a problem than people fear — see also: body acne, forgetting to shave, and everything else you have been quietly worrying about.